LOCOMO: INBOX

[testgasm]

@ WHEATLEY

GREETINGS, hello, welcome, you've reached Wheatley and the E2 branch of Aperture Laboratories. I'm...not actually here right now, if you haven't guessed. Off doing something very important, very sciencey, I'm sure, but go ahead and leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Depending. On. The nature of your call. But I'll, ah. Most likely respond within some kind of acceptable time frame.

✉️ ☎️ 📷

Comments

EMAIL jsapphire@fony.com

[lavishes]

SUBJECT: software thing

hiiiiiii it's Jester! i think this is the email i'm supposed to send for like. software and stuff? to make sure that i don't get hacked i think? that's what my new manager person told me, anyway... i need things, i think. except like, do i have to go anywhere or do you have to come here or like, is there cool technology things to make sure it just happens? and also will it get rid of all my files?

thanks!!!

jester sapphire ✨

EMAIL pwheatley@fony.com 1/2

[testgasm]

SUBJECT: RE: software thing

hi jester thanks for checking in sorry for the delay i've been dealing with some

things

[testgasm]

that's correct i'm the guy apparently

it looks like there's a standard suite of security programs you'll need to load up onto your personal computer

have you downloaded the screenconnect access client? if you have i should be able to access your desktop remotely and load it all in

otherwise i can probably do this for you over regular human coffee which might be easier but it's really your preference just lmk

-wheatley

[lavishes]

[ Fixating on all the wrong things in 3... 2... 1— ]

Things? What kinda things? Is it like, really embarrassing things? Because if it is, you can definitely tell me. I'm really, really good at keeping secrets, you know.

And also I don't really like coffee because it's bitter sooo I guess I can download the access client thingy. Can you just like, access my computer all the time? because sometimes I definitely draw porn and it's okay if you wanna look at it!! But you know. If you didn't wanna or whatever, I should probably say something. [ Consent. It's important! ]

[testgasm]

no i'm just going through some stuff aren't we all though don't worry about it

i really didn't need to know about that

ideally i will just remote in, install the programs, and leave forever in fact i will definitely do that now that you've told me this

please do not use company software to draw pornography