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LOCOMO: INBOX
@ WHEATLEY
âī¸ âī¸ đˇ
GREETINGS, hello, welcome, you've reached Wheatley and the E2 branch of Aperture Laboratories. I'm...not actually here right now, if you haven't guessed. Off doing something very important, very sciencey, I'm sure, but go ahead and leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Depending. On. The nature of your call. But I'll, ah. Most likely respond within some kind of acceptable time frame.
@bombaf
it's ur old pal sexy rexy đŖđĨ
[u know... bc wheaties... The cereal.
He is entirely being a pain in the ass on purpose.]
i got a couple of qs for ya
u got a sec?
dw, we don't have to talk about your daddy issues this time, but u can always cry on my shoulder if u gotta- they broad af soooooo lmfao it's free real estate what can i say
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hello
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technically
though before we get any further i think it's pertinent to note that i do not cry physically incapable of it don't have the hardware
what do you want to know
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that would suggest that you've FELT like cryin at least once before wh
aaaaaah
[Rex is actually concerned about the little guy... Surprisingly enough.]
can u tell me what os the phone is using?
wait fuck
did they even give u a phone? u dont have hands wh
do you even have a number? like how tf is that supposed 2 work
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feels like
mostly because of the aforementioned biological response that i do not have
[anyway.]
to answer your question no i don't have a phone but i did wake up here with the network software downloaded onto my system so that was easy enough
not an os ive ever seen sorry
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ok since we are all literally from different DIMENSIONS
like i get it but dontchu care
cmon, my lil booby boi!!!!!
[REX????]
aren't u curious? about who/where/why/WHAT thE FAQQQQ brought us here
cuz i am
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i have a name
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train as it were
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wheatley, baby, coooooome on!
pwetty pwease âšī¸đĸđ
dw! ill protect ya. i've got big strong arms n everything đĒđŊ
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do you think that because i've got the network downloaded into my brain instead of on a phone i'm privy to its secrets or something
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Well, he wouldn't be the first.]
that would be a resounding NO, asshole
dude! ur a fucking ROBOT
you of ALL!!!! ah gragh UGGGGH things
should know how h a c k i n g works! look, i'm not trying to shut down any MAINFRAMES or anything bc oh GOd do we need this shit but (đ!!!)
[insert the spirit of a deep inhalation here]
what i WOULD like to know?
is if all of us interdimensional motherfuckers are being TRACKD
OKAY
and if so, what are they using? idk if heat signatures make sense bc there are like... creatures in here u kno who are native to this loco locomotive
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not me a med student knowing nothing about hacking and writing some bs
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EMAIL jsapphire@fony.com
hiiiiiii it's Jester! i think this is the email i'm supposed to send for like. software and stuff? to make sure that i don't get hacked i think? that's what my new manager person told me, anyway... i need things, i think. except like, do i have to go anywhere or do you have to come here or like, is there cool technology things to make sure it just happens? and also will it get rid of all my files?
thanks!!!
jester sapphire â¨
EMAIL pwheatley@fony.com 1/2
hi jester thanks for checking in sorry for the delay i've been dealing with some
things
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it looks like there's a standard suite of security programs you'll need to load up onto your personal computer
have you downloaded the screenconnect access client? if you have i should be able to access your desktop remotely and load it all in
otherwise i can probably do this for you over regular human coffee which might be easier but it's really your preference just lmk
-wheatley
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Things? What kinda things? Is it like, really embarrassing things? Because if it is, you can definitely tell me. I'm really, really good at keeping secrets, you know.
And also I don't really like coffee because it's bitter sooo I guess I can download the access client thingy. Can you just like, access my computer all the time? because sometimes I definitely draw porn and it's okay if you wanna look at it!! But you know. If you didn't wanna or whatever, I should probably say something. [ Consent. It's important! ]
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i really didn't need to know about that
ideally i will just remote in, install the programs, and leave forever in fact i will definitely do that now that you've told me this
please do not use company software to draw pornography
@TaSTYB1TCh3000, untraceable
GUESS WHO?? đđđ GOT A QUESTION FOR YOU MY METAL MAN
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well there's only one person who calls me that so i can venture a guess
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but whatever
How r u
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not an experience i care to repeat
anyway you said you had a question?
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Okay yes anyway i was wondering
Did u forget to grab the geezer on the way out?
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i would have if i ran into him but i didn't
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