LOCOMO: INBOX

[testgasm]

@ WHEATLEY

GREETINGS, hello, welcome, you've reached Wheatley and the E2 branch of Aperture Laboratories. I'm...not actually here right now, if you haven't guessed. Off doing something very important, very sciencey, I'm sure, but go ahead and leave me a message, and I'll get right back to you. Depending. On. The nature of your call. But I'll, ah. Most likely respond within some kind of acceptable time frame.

✉️ ☎️ 📷

Comments

[shiftybladesofcray]

oh come on you don't have to play nice with me mini wheats!!!

I've already seen you blow your lid kid

And I've done way worse than you believe me


But i suppose that should all be in the past now 😩 I'm retired, you're rewired, and there's no getting back to business unless we clean up our acts

[testgasm]

i already told you there were extenuating circumstances i no longer have any interest in murder or attempted murder or enacting physical harm

done. out of my system. i am cleaning up actually my number's been going down this whole time. must have done something right in the last car

[i had both empathy and humanity forced on me i had no choice but to improve]

[shiftybladesofcray]

lol ok bucket head whatever u say

tho actually, mine's going down too!!!!!!! Would you believe it?? finally under 1000

We should celebrate 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

[testgasm]

oh that is exciting

wouldn't mind a little reward for self-improvement

what do you have in mind

[shiftybladesofcray]

ooooh idk idk normally I'd say take Master out for a ride but he's not here

[And funny thing, that. For some reason conjuring that impeccable sneer and those taut buttocks isn't revving her up like they used to. In fact she feels a little used.

Might need to shoot her lamer half a message about that. What happened?]

AND now that ur a tin man again u don't even eat so let's seeeeeeeeeee

We could go pelt snowballs at people on the skating rink in that one car

Or fight some zombie things

Maybe pelt snowballs at people getting stuck under mistletoe

IDK WHAT DO YOU EVEN LIKE WHEATS?????Dying 2 kno, what pleases that little robo head of yours

[testgasm]

something tells me attacking fellow passengers unprovoked is not very sporting and might undo some of our progress

also i'm not very keen on fighting zombies

i like to read

[shiftybladesofcray]

seriously



Lmao wow i should just set u up with my other half instead 🤓

[testgasm]

well i like puzzles and tests too but i'm not sure if it's a good idea for me to be around them

as you may have seen

unless i was the one doing the puzzle! you don't have any sudoku books on you or anything do you

maybe a rubiks cube

[shiftybladesofcray]

sodoku???? sheesh is this what dads are like

Think i saw some of that puzzle biz back in the ski lodge

Books too

Hell i could go for a hot chocolate and a bodice ripper

What do you say creepley??? Gimme ur verdict

[testgasm]

i wouldn't know i never had a dad

but actually that sounds very nice minus the hot chocolate and bodices for me of course. i would be interested in that

1/2

[shiftybladesofcray]

THEN IT'S A DATE!!!!!!!!!!

[shiftybladesofcray]

jk u couldn't afford me

But I'll treat you just this once

You've been such a good boy 😘

[testgasm]

why are you like this

[shiftybladesofcray]

bc it's fun

[testgasm]

ugh

okay i'll see you at the ski lodge

[shiftybladesofcray]

Race u there